Living in Los Angeles, I’ve had the opportunity to witness
the anguish and despair of countless celebrities who have acquired fame and
fortune, but at the expense of a personal identity and sense of self. These beautiful, powerful and alluring individuals
often live in the shadows, having to hide from the world and live a life in
secret where others can often not be trusted, where their value is dependent on
their [often unpredictable opportunities for] success, where loyalties are questioned,
and where the opportunity for simply “being” is out of reach.
Whilst most people envy the lives of the rich and famous,
what is lost is an understanding of the profound loneliness, anxiety, despair,
and pressure that is too often the consequence of this lifestyle. For these individuals, help and support is a complicated
and often prohibitive process. Because
of the fear of exposure and the devastating personal and professional
consequences that can result, relief often comes in the form of drugs and
alcohol, or other maladaptive forms of coping.
The fear of judgment,
blacklisting, public humiliation and image destruction that accompanies exposure
leaves one few choices but to attempt to simply live with the pain. The ultimate consequence of trying to “manage”
is an exacerbation of symptoms, including alienation from the “self who once was”.
Identity is a vital aspect of development from infancy
through later adulthood. Satisfaction
often accompanies a sense that one’s life has constituted meaning, fulfillment,
connection, and purpose. The demands of a
public life can rob one of the capacity for wholeness and balance, and create a
shift in values (the process of which is frequently unconscious). One of the most gratifying emotional
experiences is to be ‘seen’, truly known, understood and accepted. The life of celebrity, focusing largely on
performance, public image, secrecy and “management” of the facts, deprives one
of this opportunity. Freedom is lost. Spontaneity
is lost. A sense of ‘owning oneself’ is
lost. Privacy is lost. Hypervigilance, anxiety, fear and self-doubt takes
over. The combination of all of these
factors leave many celebrities with regret about the path they chose, or the path
that was chosen for them, which is often the case.
What we, as a society, can do is to recognize our own
projections, our own need to idealize and romanticize celebrities, and the
functions these projections serve. After
all, when we learn that a celebrity has fallen, our disappointment and anger is
only a function of the needs and longings we have projected onto them. If that were not so, why would we feel so
devastated to learn that they are human?
Terry Jordan, LCSW, DCSW is a psychotherapist in private practice in West Los Angeles, an Adjunct Faculty professor at USC and a clinical supervisor of masters level clinicians. She is certified in EMDR, has an advanced certification from the Southern California Psychoanalytic Institute, and her areas of expertise include grief and loss, particularly loss to suicide, trauma, LGBTQIA, couples therapy and relationships, depression and anxiety. For more info, please visit my website.
TERRY JORDAN, LCSW, DCSW, 2001 S. Barrington Ave, # 202, Los Angeles, CA 90025
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